The question in the title of this post is much more important than it may seem at a glance. I’ll clarify and then you can put some thought into it before you answer.
Are you doing everything you need to do to get healthy and lose weight because you are awesome? Or, are you doing all of it because you are not awesome and you won’t be awesome until you finally get “there” and create a body that passes your own scrutiny?
Your answer will basically determine your success.
It’s true. You can pretend that your goals will be determined by the rules of the protocol you are following, but that’s probably only partially true. In fact, it might be only BARELY true. Sure, you could be starving yourself and doing hours of cardio in an attempt to rip weight off your butt and belly and you will, of course, gain it back. However, once you are making healthy choices like those we teach around here, the rules won’t be why you fail. If you fail, it will be because you are able to convince yourself in the short term of something emotional and not very rational.
If you are awesome, you will find it quite easy to treat yourself as such. You will effortlessly make decisions that reflect your awesomeness and the fact that you deserve to be treated with love and respect. As soon as you put your mind to it, you will be able to consistently nurture yourself as you would any other person in your care. It’s not a hard concept to understand – we are compelled to treat awesome people awesomely.
On the other hand, treating yourself well so that you can become awesome and escape your horrible lack of awesomeness is a plan that leads in frustrating circles. Here’s how it’s done:
The first step in that plan is to get fed up with yourself enough to finally take action. This will drive you to start doing a bunch of things you don’t want to do, but you will do them anyway (for a while) because you dislike your body slightly more than you dislike these things you have to do.
Next (and this step is crucial), inject some horrible self-coaching. Tell yourself daily that you will be worthwhile when you fianlly get skinny, but not until then. Focus on the future and never the present because there’s nothing to enjoy here.
All that’s left is to tell yourself that you deserve a treat, one bite won’t hurt, you had a bad day, this was never going to work anyway, or any other form of nonsense that makes you eat junk food without a valid reason. From there, stretching this one deviation out to multiple days or even weeks by telling yourself that you “ruined something so you might as well start again on Monday” should happen naturally.
Add a little time to get fed up with yourself again and you will complete the circle. All of this will happen so effortlessly that it will feel as if you weren’t the one in the driver’s seat.
And all of this frustration and anxiety can be yours for the low, low price of simply believing you aren’t awesome.